This Blog is more of a rant... but that really was the original intention of blogging (according to Wikipedia the term is weB Log or BLOG for short) so here goes. The obvious... 9/11 was not something I bounced back from quickly. On 9/11 2002, I assure you, I didn't have a happy day.
The attacks of September 11 had a twofold effect on me, and probably many New York City Firefighters. Rational or irrational, after some therapy and years of soul searching, I'm pretty sure I have good understanding. Pre and Post 9/11 is what the FDNY became. Two different jobs. Sure, I was witness to many devastating injuries and even fatalities in those previous years, but it was the first time in my life that people were directly attacking me, my brothers, and we lost. My previous feeling of invincibility that made the job almost fun, had completely vanished.
Also, in my once previous favorite month (ironically), I was diagnosed with an illness that ended my career. A firefighter has got to be perfectly healthy, period. Thank God I've since fully recovered, but my temporary lack of perfect health ended my days of crawling down smoke filled hallways. If you're a New York City firefighter, who lives on adrenalin, this is a devastating adjustment. At the time I was a Captain, so I wound up managing an office for a couple of years, I thank the job and the city for allowing me to temporarily remain, but I wasn't really a fireman, and it hurt to much to stay.
But October has finally arrived and I can feel the energy shift. Life is better now, even with a shaky economy, and while I'm no longer an active firefighter, I teach people to go above and beyond whatever they ever thought possible with kettlebell lifting, and this has become the my life's second passion. I'm a very lucky man that I've been able to excel at, and teach, two of my of life's greatest passions, firefighting and kettlebell lifting.
I apologize for this self indulgent rant, but every once in a while it feels real good to do so me purging.